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Monday, May 1, 2017

Some Mondays are more Mondays than others.

It started at 2:30A with some loud warbling from the brooder condo.  Remember what I said about the sweet, dulcet tones of the new Nuggets?  Well, I LIED.  My getting up early starts the domino effect - The Pepperoni is first up because he is at the foot of my bed, covered in fleece blankets.  I get the little, cloudy Stink Eye when I approach him.  Much prolonged stretching and Stink-Eyeing goes on before I can scoot him out of the door and into the living room.  Lovey is up next with more stretching but no Stink Eye.  She is a happy girl and glad to see me no matter what time it is.  The Sweet Potato is still slumbering on the sofa.  That stretching is very prolonged, with the slow dragging of 'seal legs' off the sofa.  The last to get into the act is the cat, who is like a fat piece of Velcro.


All three shot out the door in pursuit of...?  The coffee was turned on and I went to check on the Nuggets.  Who were, of course, quietly burbling by this point.  At least I got more knitting done on the triangle Caron Cake shawl.  Things seemed to be progressing well (that should ALWAYS be a sign that the Universe is waiting with the other shoe in hand) and I managed to get my chores done with a whole extra half hour to shower, change and get on the road.  I might even be - *gasp* - early. 


Except for the fact that, when I walked out of my front door, I was confronted by my neighbor's Black Angus bull in the middle of my front yard, eyeing my raised beds.  The llama was in full alert, two fat sheep squeezed in behind her, trying to disappear.  The dogs were barking their heads off.  I inched towards my car, put everything on the front seat and, armed with a windshield ice scraper, went to move him along towards home.  This did not go as hoped, although I did get him, begrudgingly, to move to my side yard.  When he started snorting at me, I decided that I needed something a little larger to even out the odds, so I got in my car and slowly herded him towards home with the Hyundai.  We got to the road and he balked.  I figured he was at least headed in the right direction, so I headed up the mountain, now very late, calling my dairy farmer neighbor to alert him - left a message with the asshat neighbor who cannot seem to keep his bull, cows or screaming grandson within the boundaries of his property, fed the barn cats and raced towards work.


Only to get behind a small compact car going 20 miles an hour (10 on curves - of which there are many) on the mountain road - apparently driven by a midget raisin with white hair and severely challenged driving skills.  Where I stayed for almost 15 miles, until I could reach a stretch with enough visibility that I wouldn't risk driving head-on into another vehicle.  I called the state police to report her when I got to the light that brings me off the mountain and into suburbia.  Even though I was sorely tempted - about every two miles - to just say 'the hell with it!' and speed around her, I have too many dependents to take those chances.  I was afraid that there were many others who wouldn't care.


Things were finally going swimmingly, until I got behind a) an oil truck, b) two school buses, c) a gravel truck, and d) the Raisin's cousin in an old pick-up.  By the time I pulled into the office building's parking lot, I had  managed to reach a Zen-like state.  Most likely caused by the excessive amount of deep breathing that had preceded my arrival.

18 comments:

  1. Monday morning indeed! You really need to be a highly paid columnist . . . somewhere. Maybe it's right here in Blogland. Your way with words should be earning you money. I know your writing comes from situations that are not exactly and at all times "entertaining" to the person (that would be you) experiencing them, but you surely do bring a rays of sunshine into your readers' lives.

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    1. Mama Pea, you say the sweetest things.... :) xoxo

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  2. Bull fighting first thing in the morning? Oh, I'd need a coffee first.

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    1. I tell you, when that snorting started, I felt the caffeine kick in!

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  3. Rain, I wish I lived closer to you. I have at least 20 lilac bushes in full bloom. There are lilac, pink, purple, & one white one. They smell so good. I share with most anyone who asks for some of them. I'm going to try the lilac lemonade too. Does anyone know if you can freeze simple syrup? This drink would be great in the summer. Sandy in Calif.

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    1. Hi Sandy! I just came upon your comment reading Susan's post, I think you posted that for me here by mistake!!! Susan, don't mean to derail your comment section :)

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  4. Black Angus, they can be especially head strong!

    We lived in Palo Cedro for 30+ years and many, many mornings woke up to two or three horses, two or three steers, and a 600 pound pig in the yard. We couldn't get the doctor who owned them to fix his fences either. I think he felt that our pastures were his grazing grounds.

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    1. Toni, the neighbor has too many cows on too little pasture - he can't rotate, so there's nothing left but weeds that they won't eat. I'm not surprised they bust out!

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  5. Do you have a mobile butcher that serves your area? ;-)

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  6. "Mobile abattoir" is probably more accurate....

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    1. Why, yes, we do. That thought did cross my mind. It might be called into action if this is repeated too many times. That's a lot of hamburger.

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  7. Ha! I loved reading this. I can just picture you being armed with a scraper trying to move a bull! We have some slow ones on our roads, too, but thankfully fewer curves and mountains. -Jenn

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    1. Our mountain road is miles of ess-shapes. It must have taken them decades to build it! There's just enough traffic to make you think twice about passing near a curve.

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  8. Hi Susan :))

    Oh my gosh...what a horrible morning. If I saw a bull in my yard, I don't know what I'd do...that sucks about your irresponsible neighbour, we all have them don't we? I'm telling you, we all need to build croc-filled motes around our properties, like the olden days...with a black night on a horse to guard the house.

    I am never in a hurry when I drive, likely due to my anxiety that forces me to leave too much time before an appointment...but I do expect that people go the SPEED LIMIT...I will never go faster for a tailgater, but it bugs me to no end when people putter along. I'm glad you got zen by the time you got to work!

    The Pepperoni reminds me of my Jack...I totally get the stink eye when I'm up. He sleeps downstairs on the couch, covered with blankets, and when I'm up, I have to WAKE HIM UP. He won't move. I usually open the curtains, then slowly unwrap him and say "Hi Jack!" and that look and a wee little growl greets me...but once he realizes I might be leaving the house with the huskies without him, the long stretching and (I love how you put this) the seal legs off the couch begin too, ha ha ha...

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  9. Susan, I apologize for cross-talking. I did find out you can freeze simple syrup as long as you want to, but, have to add lemon juice or liquid citric acid to keep the sugar in suspension. Sandy

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  10. Seeing a bull would raise my blood pressure!!!

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  11. Now that really is a typical Monday. Here's hoping the rest of your week goes a little smoother.

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